So, 50 Shades of
Fucked Up Grey. At first it was scandalous and a little funny. Everyone called it ‘mommy porn’, nobody really took it seriously. It was just another romance novel. Theres tons of them.
But this one was flying off the shelves so of course I had to pick it up and see what the hype was about.
I was disappointed to learn the hype was about a pathetically written piece of sexual abuse.
That started out as a Twilight fanfiction.
Well, point to Stephanie Meyers. Twilight is finally a better love story than something at least.
And sure, there were plenty of haters before the movie came out. Theres always the quippy kids on the internet making funny scenarios, for example.
And then, the movie came out. I couldn’t get into the book. I stopped reading just because the writing itself was like looking back at an essay from 5th grade. My prose was so weak it could barely support the big red C written on it.
And yet I found something worse and published. What a time to be alive.
Relevant Magazine’s article actually covers everything really nicely, so I’ll let you read this first.
Ridiculous writing aside, the message of the series and now, movie, is pretty freakin dark. Such as stalking, abuse, sexual abuse, straight up rape, and toxic relationships.
But, this is just a movie, right? Like people know this isn’t actually okay to do to someone, right?
Nope. Whoop, there it is.
Now, this isn’t an attack on the BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) community. Mostly I feel bad for anyone who takes part in healthy BDSM and has seen this only to be horrified. Laci Green actually has an amazing video, both about the BSDM community and 50 Shades.
I think my main issue with this entire franchise is the romanticization of both abusive/toxic 100% dominance over a partner and the sexualization of naivety bordering on childishness. The toxic message as said in ‘The Real Abuse at the Heart of 50 Shades of Grey’ is the idea that you can change your abuser.
There are already too many women, even in my own life, that stay in an abusive relationship under the impression they can fix or heal their partner.
Or even worse, invalidating the traumatic experience of women who’ve been in that situation, and telling them they should’ve accepted it and learned to enjoy it.
In a society where sexual violence is so prevalent, something like 50 Shades will only make things worse.
Thinking about the 14-16 year old girls that will see this and think that kind of abuse is okay makes me worry. But what worries me more is the 14-16 year old boys that will see this and think that is the right way to treat a woman.
This isn’t just something wrong or uncomfortable for us to watch, this is something harmful for kids that would sneak in to see it and think its right or okay. Thats what this problem is.